LOL is the Best Medicine

Your annual appointment is in a week, and you are fervently eating healthy, getting some activity in your busy day, and trying to make it look like you lead a healthy lifestyle. And dang, it’s exhausting. But if you actually get healthy…it will guarantee you never hear these words from your doc…

    • “Well, maybe we can tie two paper gowns together.”
    • “You’re still alive? Damn, I lost a bet.”
    • “You’re too big for a standard blood pressure test, so we’re going to have to take it rectally.”
    • “Here’re some gastric bypass and sideshow carnival brochures.”
    • “I’m writing you a prescription for a new pill that makes all food taste like cedar chips.”
    • “I’m going to have to charge you for that broken scale.”
    • “Your good cholesterol is bad, your bad cholesterol is worse, and your really bad cholesterol is completely out of whack.”
    • “Apparently you’ve suffered an overdose of dulce de leche.”
    • “Your bloodwork doesn’t show anything troubling, but your cheesework indicates a lot of problems.”
    • “I’ve scheduled you a heart attack next Thursday.”
    • “I’m gonna need you to scarf down as many chips and cupcakes as you can and… wake up, wake up. You’re dreaming…”
    • “Can you move your head to the right and the left for me? Good, now can you do that anytime anyone offers you dessert?”
    • “You’ll be fine as long as you quit eating everything you like.”
    • “The bad news is that the diabetes is so bad that we’re going to have to remove your legs. The good news is that somebody in the waiting room wants to buy your sneakers.”
    • “In medical terms, your gluteus is very maximus.”
    • “How do you feel about giving yourself shots and taking dozens of pills every day?”
    • “I’m writing up your case study for the new issue of Morbid Obesity Today.”
    • “Now lift your chins up.”
    • “Nurse… have you ever seen anybody this large?”
    • “Side effects may include one or more of the following: brain hemorrhage, oily discharge, twisty colon, explosive diarrhea and complete kidney shutdown.”
    • “No more cake for you.”
    • “The good news is… I’m gonna make a lot of money on your case.”
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Ranked #1 on Entrepreneur magazine’s prestigious "Top Global Franchise" list and #2 in the “Franchise 500” list, Anytime Fitness is the fastest-growing fitness club franchise in the world, with more than 2.5 million members and 3,000 clubs worldwide. Open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, Anytime Fitness prides itself on providing our members with surprisingly personable service in convenient and well-maintained facilities which feature top-quality exercise equipment. Clubs are now open in all 50 states, Canada, Mexico, Australia, New Zealand, England, Scotland, Ireland, Spain, Grand Cayman, Poland, Belgium, the Netherlands, Qatar, Chile, India, Singapore, Malaysia, Japan, Hong Kong, Philippines, Taiwan, and China. Join one club and use them all. Franchised clubs are individually owned and operated. Members also enjoy free access to AnytimeHealth.com, the most comprehensive wellness website available.